...This is it now, everybody get down, this is all I can take...

You take a hit now
you feel it break down
Make you stay wide awake
~Rob Thomas

So I had my first official wedding freak out moment...well, this year at least.

I'd pretty much put off all wedding planning activites to focus on the holidays - gift buying, gift giving, carol singing, and the like . It was a much welcome distraction from all the planning to be honest. There I was, enjoying the lack of wedding talk in my life when all of a sudden, 2 days ago, something snapped. I guess it wasn't unlike an awakening from a peaceful coma. Ah well, I had to know the sanity wouldn't las long after the new year. One can dream... I decided to revisit the invitation - which I'd designed last year. I sat down, turned on my laptop, started Photoshop, opened up invitation001.psd, took a good look, then a deep breath, and realized the idea I had per packaging the invitation was NOT going to work! ARRRRGGGHHH. Did that mean I'd have to redesign the entire thing!! A nightmare!! The many many MANY LOOONG nights I spent making sure EVERY little pixel was in place...every letter perfectly placed...measurements painstakingly calculated...for petes sake how many variations of 'no kids allowed AT ALL...ra ra' did I even come up with??...down the drain???? I teared up. In my quest to avoid the pocketfold, I'd made things infinitely more complicated. This was coming at a time when I should be printing out the invites, not redesigning!!

Oh no, that's not all. I ventured onto my to-do list at my numero uno wedding site and what, pray tell, was staring back at me via my screen?? Alas, a list of 30 items overdue! 30! Boo! BOO! Big BOO! I haven't decided on an officiant, insured the wedding ring, picked out a cake (look, filling, design), decided who's baking the cake, chosen flowers, or a florist, auditioned DJs, spoken to the caterer, ordered a dress, picked bridesmaids dresses, ordered the bridesmaids dresses, picked hotels, booked hotel rooms, decided on a decorator. Deep breath in....IN I say.

That was 2 days ago. I'm ok now. God bless them. As they pointed out to me - while freaking out over the phone to them - we're more than a few months away. Weddings have been planned in less...much less.

I've spoken to the caterer, and gotten an estimate - a contract is in the works. I've booked rooms in one hotel, Shay'll call the other two for me and take care of that. OS came up with a fantastic idea for the invitations, backpocket indeed. I've spoken to the baker - I still haven't picked the look but as long as it's 3-4 layers I don't really care that it's plain white. I'll pick my battles and the cake isn't one of them. Not worried about jewelry or native attire - they'll be handling that (they're becoming fast friends which is nice, really nice).

Having help is great! I always knew I'd never be able to do this alone.

Unfortunately, it's in my nature to freak out. Textbook. But for now, all is well.

If you say you love me, For your heart you'll have a fight...

~ John Gafford

The holidays are over...for certain they are
The smile turned to a frown
Niceties to silence
Sing-songs to harsh tones
long conversations to clipped retorts
The root of all evil


With my heart, I had my first fight