...This is it now, everybody get down, this is all I can take...

You take a hit now
you feel it break down
Make you stay wide awake
~Rob Thomas

So I had my first official wedding freak out moment...well, this year at least.

I'd pretty much put off all wedding planning activites to focus on the holidays - gift buying, gift giving, carol singing, and the like . It was a much welcome distraction from all the planning to be honest. There I was, enjoying the lack of wedding talk in my life when all of a sudden, 2 days ago, something snapped. I guess it wasn't unlike an awakening from a peaceful coma. Ah well, I had to know the sanity wouldn't las long after the new year. One can dream... I decided to revisit the invitation - which I'd designed last year. I sat down, turned on my laptop, started Photoshop, opened up invitation001.psd, took a good look, then a deep breath, and realized the idea I had per packaging the invitation was NOT going to work! ARRRRGGGHHH. Did that mean I'd have to redesign the entire thing!! A nightmare!! The many many MANY LOOONG nights I spent making sure EVERY little pixel was in place...every letter perfectly placed...measurements painstakingly calculated...for petes sake how many variations of 'no kids allowed AT ALL...ra ra' did I even come up with??...down the drain???? I teared up. In my quest to avoid the pocketfold, I'd made things infinitely more complicated. This was coming at a time when I should be printing out the invites, not redesigning!!

Oh no, that's not all. I ventured onto my to-do list at my numero uno wedding site and what, pray tell, was staring back at me via my screen?? Alas, a list of 30 items overdue! 30! Boo! BOO! Big BOO! I haven't decided on an officiant, insured the wedding ring, picked out a cake (look, filling, design), decided who's baking the cake, chosen flowers, or a florist, auditioned DJs, spoken to the caterer, ordered a dress, picked bridesmaids dresses, ordered the bridesmaids dresses, picked hotels, booked hotel rooms, decided on a decorator. Deep breath in....IN I say.

That was 2 days ago. I'm ok now. God bless them. As they pointed out to me - while freaking out over the phone to them - we're more than a few months away. Weddings have been planned in less...much less.

I've spoken to the caterer, and gotten an estimate - a contract is in the works. I've booked rooms in one hotel, Shay'll call the other two for me and take care of that. OS came up with a fantastic idea for the invitations, backpocket indeed. I've spoken to the baker - I still haven't picked the look but as long as it's 3-4 layers I don't really care that it's plain white. I'll pick my battles and the cake isn't one of them. Not worried about jewelry or native attire - they'll be handling that (they're becoming fast friends which is nice, really nice).

Having help is great! I always knew I'd never be able to do this alone.

Unfortunately, it's in my nature to freak out. Textbook. But for now, all is well.